Showing posts with label What is this I dont even?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label What is this I dont even?. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Review: Lollipop Chainsaw

Players: 1

Rating: Mature (Blood and Gore, Drug Reference, Intense Violence, Partial Nudity, Sexual Themes, Strong Language)

Available for: Xbox 360, PS3

Reviewed on: Xbox 360

Oh look, it's another Suda51 game!  Released last week, Lollipop Chainsaw has been on my radar for a while.  As always, Suda's trademark humor and art style are present from the very beginning.  But how does it hold up?  Actually, pretty well.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Review: Diabolical Pitch

Platform: Xbox Live Arcade Kinect

Players: 1-2

Rating: Teen (Violence, Blood)

Price: 800 Microsoft Points ($10)

When Goichi Suda announced Grasshopper Manufacture's work on an Xbox Live Arcade game designed with the Kinect in mind, reviewers and fans were a little stymied.  What could this "Codename D" possibly be?  Why, Diabolical Pitch, of course!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Top 5 Bad Ideas in Video Games

Thanks, XKCD!
Bad ideas seem to invariably start with a frat boy origin. "Guys, we should do this.  It would be totally awesome if we do this!"

And then, they fall flat on their face.  Every industry has its share of good ideas and bad ideas.  It just happens that the bad ideas in the video game industry are far more humorous than other industries.  Video games have had their share of gaffes, and some of these are worthy of making a Top 5 over it.  So, here's my Top 5 bad ideas in video games.


Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Misogyny in games: It's time to man the f*** up!

Okay, this is one article that I'm none too keen on writing.  Partially because it's so pervasive, but partly because I know I'd run my mouth in ways that are very NSFW.  But a post on IGN put me over the edge today, and I can't let this slide.  It's time to talk about the objectification of women in gaming.  There's too much testosterone in this industry, and it's killing any credibility gamers have.

Disclaimer: this rant will contain some seriously foul language.  Viewer discretion is advised.


Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Defending Duke Nukem Forever

I know it's been established that I'm completely and utterly insane.  However, this next post might actually put me in the looney bin.  I'm going to defend Duke Nukem Forever.

...Why?

Too many people like to rail on the king with "balls of steel," and he doesn't deserve all the bad rap that he gets.  For that reason, I'm going to ignore all the bad stuff in DNF and talk only about the good stuff.

(Disclaimer: I have received no compensation by 2K games, 3D Realms, Gearbox Software, or anyone related to the development and publishing of Duke Nukem Forever.  I am simply stupid enough to write an article like this for the lulz.)

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Review: Split/Second

Genre: Racing
Players: 1-2(local), 2-8 (Online)
Rating: E10+ (Violence)
Price: $5.99-$19.99



My dad has been a gear head for as long as I can remember.  When I was three years old, I'd help him with oil changes on the cars.  Back when I was in high school, we'd race in Gran Turismo 2 on the PS1 whenever we'd get the chance.  We'd play Burnout when I was in college.  After the Burnout Paradise came and went from my radar screen, I was left looking for something to fill that void.  Hello, Split/Second!  What sort of crazy madness can you show me today?  Evidently, quite a bit.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Review: MADWORLD

Platform: Wii
Rating: M for Mature (Blood and Gore, Drug Reference, Intense Violence, Mature Humor, Sexual Themes, Strong Language)
Players: 1-2
Price: $9.99 new

Now here's a game that feels dramatically out of place on a "family friendly" console.  Gratuitous violence, profane language, and silly over-the-top gameplay, all in one package.  Put the kids to bed, it's time for the REAL action to start!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Review: Stretch Panic

Platform: PS2

Rating: T for Teen, Mild Animated Violence, Suggestive Themes

Publisher: Treasure

Genre: None of the Above

Price: $1.49 at Gamestop, AmazonEbay

Now, this is a game that I find is impossible to classify.  It's bizarre, it leaves you questioning your sanity, and it's a riot to play.  Beating up the seven deadly sins has never been this politically incorrect...or this fun!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Retail Surveys are job security!

In the current economy, almost every retailer out there has an online survey on the receipt asking for your feedback about your shopping experience.  Not many people realize how much an employee's job depends on customers filling out those surveys.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Collector's Edition Goodies: We don't want any more crap!

One thing that has always bugged me about video game collector's editions is the glut of useless crap that they tack on, and the hype that gets attached to it.  Most of the bonus goodies are poorly made, fall apart easily, and we're told that "limited" quantities were made to attempt to bolster the inherent value.  Thankfully, not every publisher falls into this trap, and I'd like to see the industry learn from their example.


Thursday, June 30, 2011

Review: Shadows of the Damned



Platform: Xbox 360, Playstation 3

Reviewed on: Xbox 360

Rating: M

Price: $59.99


Release date: June 21, 2011



I have to commend Electronic Arts for financing such a gamble. They have a notorious track record for killing small development studios. The top talent usually gets carted off to another project and the remainders get gutted for whatever cash EA can find. That's the nature of the beast, I guess. New games based on an original concept rarely see big publisher backing the way Grasshopper Manufacture did. Goichi Suda, better known by his fans as Suda51, has a knack for making "arty" games that fascinate, but not necessarily sell well. However, he makes games that combine fantastic narrative, immersive aesthetic, and memorable characters. Shadows of the Damned is no exception. Suda51 wasn't alone in this venture, either. Accompanying him is Shinji Mikami, the creator of the Resident Evil series of horror games. If that wasn't enough star power, the audio was directed by Akira Yamaoka, composer for the Silent Hill soundtracks. This is top tier talent, and all three have years of game development experience following them wherever they go. Believe me, it shows.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Technic Beat


Price: $2.99 used at Gamestop

Ebay Listings

Rating: Everyone

Players: 1-2

Memory for Game Saves: 227 KB

Peripherals required: N/A


Warning: people who get epileptic seizures from flashing lights should NOT play this game!!!




Let the record stand that I was addicted to DDR back in 2002, when one of my friends imported a copy of DDR 3rd mix Korean v1. I still have my launch copy of DDR Konamix, DDRMAX2, and ITG. And I love 'em all. Music games usually stick very well with me. I've been looking at this game for some time, long before I started Treasure Bin. Treasure Bin just gave me an excuse to finally buy it. for a $3.00 game, this one is rather interesting.


A little bit of online research revealed that the game was originally released in Japan early in the PS2's lifetime, back when the Music Game craze was in full swing there. It didn't come stateside until 2002, when Mastiff Games picked it up. Mastiff had a cult hit track record with their work in bringing the Street Fighter EX series stateside. (Thanks to Gamespot for the info)


Sitting down with the game for the first time, I went straight to the tutorial. Believe me, it went through the basics to a D. The D-pad, of course. (okay, so it was a bad joke. get over it.) It shows you how to control the character, to the basics of scoring points in this game. No matter what happens, PLAY EVERY TUTORIAL!!! It helps so much in the long run.


The Arcade mode offers 1- and 2-player modes, with co-operative and competitive modes available for 2 players. The entire premise of the gameplay is simple: as your little character moves around the rectangular playing area, circles will appear onscreen with another circle moving towards the edge of the outer circle. When the two touch, press the square button to activate the note. It's simple at first, yet scales into insanely difficult combinations as you progress. I reached three stars out of 6 (level of difficulty) within a week. I managed to wrangle a friend into trying the game co-operative with me, and both of us agreed that the game is good fun.


For a music game, the songs can make or break a game. "Spider Control 16th" was one such song that I fell in love with right away, despite it being relatively low level. There's a lot of original works in this game, all of it filling in various subgenres of electronic. They tell you the style of song when you start the level, and let me tell you. I may listen to a fair amount of electronic music, and even I've never heard of some of these genres. All of the Namco songs are trance, house, and drum-'n-bass remixes of their 8-bit originals. Much of the music is electronic, yet the songs feel right at home with the Special Effects displayed on screen. It feels kinda like a miniature rave.


The Verdict: I think it's fair to say that this game is definitely not for everyone. Very few of the songs are going to be recognizable by most people. Only the most hardcore nerd would have any chance at recognizing every song in this game. If you're looking for mainstream pop/rock, this game is definitely not it. On the flipside, If you enjoy branching out into music you've never heard before, you just might like this game. The beats are catchy, the tunes will permeate your brain, and the $2.99 price point would make this a good game to try out and experiment with. It's also a pretty good party game, too.


Parent's notes: This game is rated E, so there's little to complain about in this game. There's a lot of flashing colorful lights that beg for a seizure attack if the child is susceptible to them. The lyrics are few and far between, if at all. I've found no objectionable language in my testing. I wouldn't recommend this to really young children, as there's a bit of reading in the tutorial section and setup, but children age 7-8 and up should be able to pick this game up really quickly. This game gets a thumbs-up from me.